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Sonia Falaschi-Ray’s May Diary article April 15, 2018

Posted by nicholastufton in The Diary Monthly letter.
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Teenagers’ patron saint, St Pancras (May 12th)

We think of St Pancras as a London railway station. It was built in the medieval district designated as St Pancras, which covered much of what is now Camden. Pancras was a Roman, who had become a Christian, and was martyred when he was 14 years old by the Emperor Diocletian, hence becoming the patron saint of teenagers.

Many teenagers will be taking exams this May, the outcome of which may determine their immediate academic and employment options. The results are often public, and it is hard not to feel judged by success or failure. If you’ve done your best, and things don’t turn out as well as you had hoped, you have nothing to blame yourself for and you will almost certainly find other opportunities. If you have mucked-about, and then got bad results, you might feel guilty at having wasted your chances.

What you shouldn’t have to experience is shame. Shame is embarrassment for who you are, rather than what you do. Who you are, does of course influence what you do, but guilt and shame are not the same thing. Both can be spurs to attempt to live better but shame can generate unhelpful avoidance strategies or projecting blame onto others while going into victim mode. Some people never feel shame. They tend to be psychopaths rather than saints.

Jesus came to enable us to engage more closely with the creator of the universe, who loves each one of us unconditionally. He affirms our worthwhileness as people. Experiencing that, we can become more whole, integrated and able to be open with others without fearing negative judgements. We should still experience guilt at stuff we do wrong, but by apologising and genuinely attempting to rectify matters with those hurt, guilt can be absolved.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, Jesus, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” John 3:16-18

Many blessings

Sonia  07747 844265

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